My Take on Promises~

Promises on the pinky!

I still remember how I used to cling hard on promises and hope, which was like when I was twelve years old and so. It turned the other way around when the reality hit me hard. Look; sure promises could be the least you can still hold on to, but what if it is just a plain promise? A promise that been made just to satisfy a person, or ending up an argument that been held to long. Hope and promises are like drug, when you embrace those, mentally you are high. You are like a bird that fly high in the air and sing chirpily. Just when the false alarm hit you, with the usual random whine- “but you did promised!!”, suddenly your wing broke, and you fall straight to the ground, and OUCH, its hurt!

Here is how I turned it the other way around;

Back in boarding school, for monthly getaway to home, usually I call dad to confirm at what time he picked me and so;

“Pa, pa datang ambik nina tau. Ambik la awal sikit ek.”

“Okay, papa ambik nina. Pukul 2 setengah camtu papa sampai.”

And then yeah, you’re right, He didn’t turn up at half pass two. Really is frustrating and how tormented I felt at the time. Then, I learned better; here how I deal for the next call:

“Pa, pa datang ambik nina tau.”

“Okay, papa ambik nina. Pukul….”

I cut in fast; “-Takpe! Na tunggu jek papa datang.”

And seriously it is better, much better. I know he is coming after all, the bit of not making he say a specific time is the one I like best. Even if he really late, I still could not hold it against him. At least he came and picked, I didn’t have to drag the big bag all the way to Kuala Selangor bus station.

From that time, I figured that how I would handle my life. Seriously, people lie all the time, and please, who don’t? For the record, white lies count too. We just can’t help it. In my dad’s case; maybe he could not help staying behind a bit longer in his office, than rush straight to pick me up.

Don’t fool yourself too much and go blind with people promising you. People tend to let others down; it is just how it is. Sure promises and hope could still be made, just don’t expect too much, because the likely high your expectation is, that is how bad you are going to get hurt. Simply, my theory is, ‘No promises, no hope, no disappointment’. Easy. At least it suit me.

Upon blowing on candles

What is it about making wishes upon blowing on candles on the day you turning yet another year older? In the past I didn’t get it, but now I seemed do. Because its happen to me, that how I get it. Birthday celebration? Define it; Tray of delicious dishes, you wearing pretty dress, cards, presents, people there smiling, beaming at you and here come the best part of it, cute cake with lit candles on top of it; choir of birthday themes fill the air and there you go, closing your eyes full heartedly making wishes deep down inside, admitting you are now a year older, with deep breath you blow the candles all out, and you go grinning.

Yay Happy Birthday you.

Different for me, or I think it’s quite normal scenario, for not really having to celebrate birthday before, what is there actually to celebrate. Previous birthday used to be just yet another day, least that is I can ask mum to cook something special for family dinner. And I am content just the way it was but now since my people is not here around me, I found myself looking forward for a birthday celebration! I mean I never really have one why bother now?

Peculiarly, I went out three times to check my mailbox, hoping for something. Well in the end of the day, exactly 11.56pm before it turns 14th January, I ran to get the kitchen candle and lit one, put it before me, and making my own speeches, of course wishes too, singing happy birthday to myself ( by that time tears prickled down ) and blew the candle off. Happy Birthday Nina. I know I’m being silly, for the least I am celebrating.

What I found is; the real definition of celebrating birthdays. It’s not about having great party and food, or pretty dress to wear on, also minus the cake and candles part. It is actually realizing you are getting older and surround by people who you love and love you too. That is the reason I ran out the mailbox, for anything, as a presence of people who love me, I just felt I longed for it.

Let put it this way; even if the person who are getting older today is not really that ‘somebody’ to you, it doesn’t matter, it’s his/ her day, buy them drinks or ice cream, accompany them, because believe me feeling lonely isn’t the best present ever.

Note: To everyone, thanks for the wishes. Thanks.